KULFI AND THE BEREAVED SOUL - A SHORT STORY

“To the small eyes, it’s but seldom seen.

To the innocent mind and small heart, it’s hard to ween.

Inside it resides and inside it waits,

For the years to work on the strings it should play.

It can’t be concealed forever,

And it comes out in one way or the other.

Sometimes, things can’t wait,

Being a part of His grand master plan.

And tragic it might be, but

 Often it chooses to shoot out as a plaintive twig

- Love.”

CHAPTER ONE:

“Moma, she is not getting up from bed”, Elsa yelled at the top of her voice after wearing down her hands on her desperate attempts to wake up her 4 year old sister, Catherine, from bed.

Under the thick woolen blanket, Catherine’s eyes were wide open even as she purposefully stretched and yawned, in a sluggish manner, to win her scene. She had wrapped herself tightly with the blanket, tucking the loose ends of the same to her body parts touching the bed. This was done in order to ward herself off from her sister’s scathing ground attacks. There was no way whatsoever for Elsa, her 13 year old elder sister, to find a route to her bare skin, she knew.  Catherine’s Christmas holidays had started, and for that reason she had all the time in the world to stay put in bed and wait until the rays from the sun rose high on her windows. She always loved to see the thin ray of light entering her room and spreading on her forehead softly, as if it was afraid that a full scale entry from its side would ruin her mood - Nature was her best friend. And thereafter, like having received a message from the sun, her mother would enter the room and plant a kiss on the same forehead where sun light had already left its mark. This was how she woke up on holidays, feeling fresh, ready for adventures.

Elsa, on the other hand was running out of time to catch her school bus as her attempts to wake up her sister were not seemingly helpful at all. And adding to the misery, like a final call for surrender, her mother Sara’s shout echoed from the kitchen, “So what Elsa? Let her sleep. What is bothering you so much? I wake her up every day and haven’t forgotten that today. I have kept your lunch box by the dining table. Take it and leave Elsa, before you get late for the bus” Elsa grinded her teeth and decided to resort to her final plan. She was not going to give up that easily.

There was silence in the room and Catherine was not sure if Elsa had gone from her bedside. ‘Have I won?’ she asked herself in her mind. She slowly twisted her legs a bit, loosening her grip on the blanket, to take one peek at the situation.

This was when Elsa, who was hiding by the bedside leaped on to the bed and pulled the blanket from her little sister’s body. She then pinched Catherine, using all the power of her fingers, on the buttocks and ran away. Catherine screamed in pain, tears welling up in her eyes. She was furious with anger. She jumped from her bed and ran behind Elsa. She shouted, “Elsaaaa…….”

In the living room, Robin was sitting on the settee and reading the newspaper. He was shocked to see both his daughters running madly in front of him across the room. He kept the newspaper by his side and called, “Elsa, Catherine. Stop!”

Elsa stopped as if frozen by the power of Robin’s words, and Catherine bumped into her and fell down. Elsa, being cleverer of the two, was the first to respond before any questions arose from her father. “Dad, she pinched me and is not allowing me to go to school”

Robin looked at Catherine, who had her eyes fixed at Elsa, for an answer. Catherine was breathing heavily, waiting to strike upon Elsa with all the vengeance her little heart knew. She was sitting on the floor, silent and still, only for the fear she had for Robin. But the urge was uncontrollable. Robin shouted at Elsa in a commanding manner, “Elsa, look at me. Is that true?” Before Elsa could say anything, Catherine started crying and said, “Dad, she is doing this to me every day” Before Elsa had her chance to understand the seriousness and anger in her dad’s face; as she hadn’t looked at Robin at all till then; Catherine’s words magnified and passed through her ears, like the blow of a trumpet, and she lost her control. There was a cup of tea placed at a table near to the settee. Catherine sprang forward from her sitting posture, took the cup in her little hands and brandishing her hands, splattered the tea at her elder sister’s direction. Due to lack of power, ill will and concentration the liquid landed upon partly on Elsa’s school uniform and rest on the floor and the wall behind. This was when Robin lost his cool and brought forward his huge hands, in a thundering fashion, to Catherine’s buttocks. Catherine fell on the floor with this hit even as Elsa’s phony cries turned real for the way her neatly ironed uniform looked dirty, because of tea stains. “Dad, my uniform. She ruined it” Elsa shrieked.

This was when Sara came running into the room from the kitchen and saw her little daughter lying down on the floor, trying to get up. “Oh Jesus! What’s got into you Robin? Why do you behave like a beast to your daughter?”

“Ask her what she did and then you won’t be saying this” Robin replied, in the same serious tone.

“She tried to burn me, Mom” Elsa complained, sobbing.

“Oh, Shut up and cut the sob stuff. Will you? Little drops of semi-hot tea won’t burn you down into ashes. Go to your room, change your dress and get ready soon. Your school bus will be here any moment” Sara, with her eye - brows raised, told Elsa.

“Why do you always support her Mom?” Elsa asked, with tears dripping down her cheeks.

“Because she is just a kid and you are a big girl. You, rather than protecting and caring her, are trying to hurt and win over her always. Come back from school and I will make sure that this competition of yours ends today. Now get going” Sara said. “You look like an angel and behave like a little demon” Sara mumbled under her breath.

Elsa had gone by her mother in her looks. She was lean, tall enough for her age and had a pair of blue eyes which made her look like a little angel sent from heaven. With these attributes, Elsa was easily the prettiest girl in her class. Adding to that she also happened to be the class topper, which gave rise to tremendous amount of pride in her. Though she had gone by her mother in her looks, her character was very much similar to her tall, grumpy and ex-body builder dad. Catherine on the other hand was very unique. She was, like her father, short-tempered, and like her mother, kind and loving. She had dark eyes and thick and curly hair. She had the cheeks of the color of strawberry and a face carved into shape like that of a pumpkin. Catherine was beautiful in her own way. She was dreamy and had all the characteristics of a future rebel given her naughty acts. She would do anything possible to be done in the earth to get what she wanted. For this, her mother supported and dad fought her. Sara had her reasons for that. Sara used to dream of becoming a teacher, when she was little. But after her marriage with Robin, she had to dedicate herself completely into the living of a house-wife. It was never like she was not happy with her life. She was just not satisfied with her position. For this reason, once when Catherine had told Sara that she had dreams of becoming a school teacher one day, she became Sara’s favorite, and ever since then Sara started to see Catherine as her second chance and  stood by her side for all her wishes.

Robin was facing Sara, who was tending to her daughter. “Now, you are pampering her. You are spoiling her” his voice was rising “I love her too, just like you do. But that doesn't mean I will stand by everything she does. I will not tolerate this kind of character from my daughter. She needs to know. She needs to be treated properly for that”

“The last thing I want is my daughter be treated like a slave” Sara blurted out.

It was like someone shelled Robin off guard, from the neighborhood. He was shocked at hearing this. But he decided to keep quiet, being very much aware of his wife’s arguing abilities and the way it could ruin the entire week’s food quality. “I don’t know what made you say that. But, it is wrong and I am telling you…. You will realize one day” He said at last and sat on the settee.

“No, it is not I who will realize. You. You will realize. You will regret for not having loved her enough. My Catherine is a princess. And she will excel more than Elsa. I know her. But, she needs time and space. Let her play at least now. Let us spare her from the understanding of love and life, for now”

Catherine cast a quick glance at her Mom and then at her sobbing sister who stomped her way into her room. She didn’t understand a thing of what her Mom had told in the end. And she thought, ‘I know what love is.

I love you Mom.

But I hate Elsa and Dad. But I like them, of course’

CHAPTER TWO:

December 26^th, 2004:

It was a cloudy morning in Velankanni and Christmas celebrations were at its peak inside the Church compound. As it was Christmas Eve, Robin and his family had come to Velankanni to pay tribute for Elsa’s success in her 8^th grade examination. They had, after attending the mass, come to the beach side to enjoy the cold breeze; the news of which was spreading inside the Church like wild fire. The combination of dark clouds and a rare cold morning breeze with a slight drizzle now and then, was spreading the aura of that of a holiday spot in Velankanni beach by the Church side. The family was having a great time out there in the beach.

After some time, Catherine, on making sure that her elder sister was busy playing with her dad in the beach - side, slowly got up and prowled away from where she and her mom were sitting together. Her mom was keenly watching Elsa and her dad play with the little waves from the sea, with a smile around the corner of her lips. Catherine, knowing that it was the right moment, slowly crawled backwards from her mother’s side and succeeded in stealing one 10 Rupee note from her Dad’s shirt pocket which lay on the sheet of cloth, on top of which she and her mother were sitting. She was not playing with Elsa and her Dad for she was grounded, for not listening to anybody and also for making a cranky scene for buying one Kulfi Ice Cream. She was shunned of Kulfi as she was vulnerable to tonsillitis and she was too small to understand this fact. She, after throwing a quick glance at her family to check on her safety to execute a plan that was born in her mind just minutes before, ran at her top speed towards where the Ice Cream guy vendor, with his vehicle, was standing. She gave him the ten rupee note that she had successfully taken from her dad’s shirt pocket and asked for one ‘KHULFFHI’,  without bothering or rather not knowing anything about the price, to the vendor. This was her first time in a direct purchase. The Ice cream vehicle had caught her attention when they had come to beach after the mass. The poster of a pink girl smiling and licking a Kulfi in her hand was what which had attracted her the most. Once she got the Ice cream from the vendor, she ran back to her Mom, holding tight the Ice Cream Box to her chest, like it was some sort of treasure. She didn’t even bother to collect the change that the vendor had extended to her. She had succeeded flawlessly with the initial steps of her plan. Now, only the ‘opening and licking it just like the pink girl’ part was pending. Of course, It was a well planned move, but only until she had won the Kulfi. She succeeded in opening up the cover in which the pink girl smiled at her, after tearing it down wildly into pieces. Catherine started licking the Kulfi lusciously with her little tongue. With her heads held high and lips touching the icy juicy part, she enjoyed it like it was her freedom. She didn’t notice where she was standing. She couldn’t recollect anything from her plans. She thanked Velankani Mother Mary in between for making her dream come true for she had just prayed to Her shrine for an ice cream one hour ago. Because of tonsillitis, it was a long time before that Catherine had last had her ice cream. And it was one among her favorites, second only to ‘Kinder Joy’. For this reason Catherine was happy with Mother Mary. But Mother Mary had other plans that she had never envisaged, or rather….plans that she never had the power to envisage.

She felt, out of nowhere, a paining lash on her buttocks. Her Dad was shouting, “Didn’t I tell you to stay put beside your mother. And how dare you steal my money”. Saying this he snatched the Kulfi from her hand and threw it on the sand and hit her one more time with his strong hands (again to her buttocks). Catherine started crying. Her Mom, who was walking into the scene said, “Oh Robin, don’t be so harsh. She is just a kid” Looking at Catherine, she said, “Leave it. Catherine dear, you come with me”

Robin passed an astonished look at Sara and shouted at her, “She stole money. How bad is that? Huh! Let’s not pamper her. I am warning you again and again”.

“No, she wouldn’t have done that”, defending her daughter, Sara said. She then tightly hugged her crying daughter and said to her in a childish tone, “Don’t cry my dear”

“I saw her taking the money from dad’s pocket” claimed Elsa in an energetic tone. She delivered a wry smile to her younger sister. Her blue beautiful eyes were shining.  “She always does this”, she continued.  Catherine looked at her elder sister with moist eyes. Grinding her teeth, she ran towards her and threw some sand and whatever she could grab with her little hands from the ground.

 “See…”, Robin shouted and walked in furiously towards Catherine, with the demeanor of that of an angry monster. Just before Robin raised his hand, Sara quickly dragged Catherine by her hand, to save her from the hit. “Don’t worry Catherine”, she murmured to Catherine’s ears. “I will get you some good toys to play with later. For now, you have to stay away from Kulfi. And when you are alright, I will buy you as many as you want”, saying which she kissed her daughter’s forehead. Catherine wiped the tears flowing from her eyes and walked along with her mother. And the duo walked towards their Beach umbrella. They then sat there under it and Sara hugged Catherine tight again. She said, “You are my little princess. Now, stop crying and sleep. You woke up early today for the mass right!”

Catherine rested her head on her mother’s breasts. She mumbled on throwing curses at her sister. “She is always like this”, she complained to her mother and kept on crying. Then she turned around and shouted at Elsa, “I hate you”.

For some time Catherine wept sitting under the shade of love from her Mom, and the real shade of the Beach Umbrella. She was slowly falling asleep and her head swiftly moved its way from Sara’s breasts to Sara’s lap. Meanwhile, Catherine never stopped cursing her elder sister Elsa in her mind.

Within no time, Catherine fell asleep. In between, while her eyes were closed and dreams towed her toward them slowly, she heard her dad coming and saying something, kissing her forehead, which she couldn’t comprehend due to her drowsy mood. She thought, ‘Um.. A kiss to you too Dada.

But I hate you Elsa. I hate you’

…………………………………………………

Catherine woke up shocked and frightened, hearing her mother scream. “Robin……. Elsa………” She heard the sounds of a big commotion around her.

Sara took her daughter Catherine in her hand and started running towards where the Church was situated. To Catherine’s half-opened pair of eyes, in her mother’s shoulder, it was visible - people were scurrying helter-skelter and a Giant transparent-blue Mouth was coming towards them with a roaring sound. ‘It is as tall as the coconut trees’, she thought. Before she could notice anything else, the giant transformed into wave first and water second, smashing them with full force, throwing them away. She felt the full stress of the powerful water in wave form on her face and body. She drowned, she drank water. She tried to cry for help. No one attended to her. And she didn’t have much time to ask for it as well. Before she could take guard, if any, she started to dream again.

 The Giant mouth, Tsunami, gulped the coast with its brutal force…….

CHAPTER THREE:

Catherine woke up.  In her half-sleep she whispered “Mummy…”

She started to cry for it was her wont to do so once she woke up on her own.  She used to stop, only after her Mom comes and lifts her up on her shoulders. She always loved to wake up in her Mom’s warm and caring shoulders. So she cried for a while, never opening her eyes, hoping that her Mom Sara would come and lift her from bed. After crying for a while, she opened her eyes with great difficulty. She moaned, “Mummy….” Catherine felt very tired and exhausted. She started to feel a bit groggy in her head and wondered if she had overslept.

Catherine saw that she was inside a tent.  She woke up from the cot in which she lay and started walking towards the opening in the tent from where the daylight was entering the room. There was only one table, with piles of papers lying on top of it in disarray, and a chair inside the tent. She wondered why there was sand and not tiles on the floor. None of this made sense to her. She kept on crying and started walk towards outside. Catherine couldn't recollect anything from what had occurred. The way her nose pained while she breathed gave her a wild memory of water gushing and its gigantic force that she felt on her body. Still, Catherine was under the impression that her Mom would come any moment to give her, her usual morning kiss and tooth brush.

Her eyes were still semi-closed as she walked her way out of the tent. There was a pungent smell all over the place. She could hear cries all around her. She looked up, and amid the scorching light from the sun, she could see vultures circling above the sky. A lot of people were standing, walking and running about her. There were some big machines in two three places which were making strange tractor-like noises, but in an ear-splitting manner. They were too sharp and loud for her to bear. She closed her ears with both her hands. In a few seconds, when silence took hold of her, she started to get a better view of things. She kept on walking, slowly, gaping at everything, as everything happening there was bizarre and new for her. The realization of something strange was dawning in her - It felt like a nightmare to her. She was getting afraid with each passing moment from then on and wanted to go back to the tent where she came from. But when she turned around, she realized that she was too far away to actually discover or remember where she came from. She had walked for quite a long time. People were all around her. Her eyes widened and hands started to tremble. The aura of something grave, beyond her comprehension yet sad and frightening caught the better of her. Bending her shoulders, using her full power, she howled “Mummmyyyy….. Mummmyyyy…..”

While she was crying aloud, from the odd group of people walking about her, a strange and weary dressed man came to her. He was thin and had a shabby look with his face. He had a stubble and hair on top his head combed in an unmethodical fashion. He said “Hey.. baby.. Hey.. You are looking for your mother. Aren’t you? I will take you to her. You look so tired my dear”. She wiped her tears and looked at the guy. The man extended his baby finger towards her, expecting her to take hold of it and offered her one ‘Fruti’ drink with his other hand. She had always loved Fruti and was feeling very thirst indeed. “Drink this and you will feel fresh. Don’t be afraid, I know where your Mummy is and I will take you to her” the man said promisingly in a smooth and caring tone.

She looked at him. She couldn’t see his face as her eyes were filled with tears. Suddenly some lady darted in from behind and shouted “Hey…. Bug off you asshole”. She had a lathi in her hand and she swung it at the guy with full force. She had a whistle as well, tied around her neck, using which she kept on blowing while she was in action. The guy took to his heels quickly and ran away like his life depended on it. The lady had worn a khaki dress, Catherine noticed.  Looking at Catherine with concern and sympathy in her eyes, the lady asked “Are you OK dear?” She was about to take hold of her hands, but that was when someone communicated something to her, through the walkie- talkie tightly clipped by the belt on her hips. Catherine was frozen with fear. While the lady had taken her eyes off her, like a lightning, she bolted away from the lady. She never stopped. She kept on crying throughout her run. She was feeling the cold atmosphere as she had no costume on her body, except for one pink trouser, fully drenched in mud and for that reason then brown. She was feeling the damp ground as she had no footwear to protect her small feet. It was completely like a nightmare. She fell down hitting the thighs of a few people; she was small; but she worked herself into the ground and somehow ran again, finally reaching a place where people were standing in a circle around something. Her legs were paining and her eyes were wet with tears. Her lips were stretched sideways and were tremulous with fear. She stopped and she saw the same big machine with big and huge iron hands which were held high in the air, at the other end of the circle. Instead of fingers, it had but sharp teeth.  People were crying and were looking inside the circle with their faces covered with some cloth or the other. She knew not where to run. She was eagerly in search of a face; that of her mother’s.  Without any further thought, she just rammed into the circle and sneaked inside. The cries and the pungent smell were growing bigger. She kept on pushing people and squeezed in more and more; she slipped somewhere as she was doing this and suddenly fell down………

She rolled over the damp and wet sand and landed up some twenty feet below in some sort of a circular pit. Her body was paining. Blood had started to come off from her knees and hands.  She started to cry after standing up, knowing nothing, her eyes searching for something. She slowly walked ahead rubbing her eyes with sand smeared hands. Her eyes were red out of pain. She fell down again but managed to get up and walk. The ground was uneven like a place filled with roots of big trees. Once again, she fell. This time, she wriggled frantically and caught hold of something that she could next reach to. She, after managing to stand up, realized that it was a hand which she had caught hold for support…. Her eyes were still half-closed due to pain and sand particles struck inside. She heard people shouting from behind, “Get the kid up…… Get the kid up…… She is too small…… OMG…… Get the kid up……”

Catherine was panting. She then somehow opened her eyes with strain and stood still. There, she saw, dead bodies lying littered. Some had their eyes open. Some had them closed. Some had their dresses torn. Some had nothing on them to cover their naked skin, now dry and withered like pieces of meat kept in refrigerator in her house. Blood stains were there on almost most of them. She walked through them…..crying all the while….”Mummy……Mummy” She was screaming in fact…… She could feel her throat soar… She fell down two or three times again. Her tongue tasted salt. The pungent smell was piercing her brain. Her head was swirling. Her eyes were spiraling. She fell again.

All the energy in her had drained out. Hope was not there. She knew not why she was there. She wanted solace. She wanted to go home. This time she couldn’t get up from her fall. She opened her eyes one last time. Catherine was lying on her back and on lifting her head with great effort, she saw one set of hollow and familiar eyes open next to her; blue they were and their blank gazes were aimed straight at the bright sky. She shook her head, lifting it higher, and looked at the body she was lying above. She cried, “Elsaaaaaa…….”

Catherine hugged Elsa’s body tight and cried with all her might. It was a cry that could devastate the goodness in any living person’s soul. Half of Elsa’s body was inside the wet sand. Catherine hugged her even tighter and tried to drag her out of the sand with her little hands. She was in a state of frenzy. She scratched her. She then tried to loosen Elsa’s body from the sand, thrusting her fingers deep into it. It wasn’t working. She groped her hands above what was visible of her sister’s body. Only her hands pained and nothing else happened. Catherine was physically and mentally immersed in pain. She couldn’t concentrate. She couldn’t understand. She knew not who to call. Her head felt heavy to her and her lips were parched. She was blinking to get rid of the burning sensation in her eyes.

Elsa had worn a jean jacket which was the only thing on her body now. Catherine knew not what death was but she doubted if Elsa was dead. She cried, “Elsa, Come back” While she started to try pulling Elsa’s torso out again from the ground, she accidentally put her hands inside her wet jean jacket pocket. She caught hold of some sort of cover inside that pocket, drenched and wet. She took it out as someone from behind took her aside. She didn’t have enough power to fight back or ask them to leave her alone. The ground seemed to rotate for her, as her eyes were giving up. But her fingers hadn’t. She had one last look at what was inside that transparent plastic cover clinging by her finger tips, which was tied above with a knot, before she fainted and dropped it.

 Inside there were two disfigured and crushed boxes, with two similar looking, but obscure, pink girls smiling at her - something similar to the Kulfi box, she had bought from the beach side.

THE END 

*********************************

Dedicated to all those who lost their lives in the wrath of nature and those who live, shedding tears everyday for these lives lost.

God Bless.

PART 3 - AN IRRECOVERABLE FALL

AN IRRECOVERABLE FALL

(A short story)

PART 3 :

     It wasn't before long that both Shanila and Anoop started to crave for receiving each other’s message as soon as they get back home from the college. And surprising the whole class, Anoop started to attend more lectures. Without Anoop bunking, Amal and Suhail were at the receiving end – they had to attend the lectures as well which they hated like anything. And even if Anoop bunked classes, he would make sure that he will be available in the class for a chat with Shanila during any available interval time. This was a potential risk factor for Amal and Suhail as they had to act like tail pieces; they feared that Anoop might attend the lectures after the interval time. Even Suhail, the best ‘ Romeo’ in the group, had to accept that things were going out of hand.

     The usual ‘Good night and Take care’ messages started to change and a bunch of ‘emoticons’ plus ‘expressive and caring’ chats replaced them. Shanila would yearn for a ‘Take care my pretty Shaans’ message on every night from Anoop. Anoop was the kind of guy who usually hated sugary talks. He was not the best at being expressive too. But the days he chatted with Shanila made him more creative, and he ended up creating an exception in his mind for this single case; which was of his own.

    One day, Amal got knocked out of a ‘Rummy match’ very early while playing with Anoop, Suhail and also few others who also bunked the classes, in Anoop’s PG room. With the help of auxiliary connection to the speakers, it was from Anoop’s mobile that the songs were being played in the room. As the game was played for money - a petty cash though - Amal was in shortage of money to rejoin the tournament. They were all playing on the floor of the neatly tiled hall of Anoop’s PG room, which would have looked decent and beautiful if not for the presence of some burnt cigarette butts lying scattered all over it. Amal, after getting knocked out, rose up from his squatted posture and walked towards the wooden desk in the hallway where Anoop’s phone was kept.  He quickly lighted one cigarette and asked Anoop after taking the phone in his hand, “Anoop… what’s your password? I am sick of hearing songs from this playlist”

     Anoop was on the verge of winning the hand. So, without even looking at Amal, he said, “3766”

     The game went on. It wasn't before long that Anoop noticed Amal, sitting on a chair near to the desk, laughing to himself and enjoying like anything, but very quietly. In a flash, the reason why Amal was laughing transpired in Anoop’s mind and he threw the cards away and shouted, “You douche bag, gimme the phone back” He sprang up from the floor towards Amal.

    Amal seized the opportunity and unchained the powerful urge to laugh out loud, that he had suppressed till then, and started to cackle like anything. This drew the attention of all the others in the room. Without paying any heed to any of this, Amal kept on laughing. Anoop reached close to Amal very quickly. As Anoop got closer, Amal asked him in a low voice, “Anoop, really? Since when did you become this poetic?”

     Anoop slapped Amal and started to use all his force to get back his phone. Amal was laughing his heart out. He said, “If you pressurize me again, I swear your poem is gonna go live in front of these guys”

     Anoop passed on a menacing look at Amal, “No you wouldn’t do that”

     Amal said, “Oh Yes, I will. It is too much fun” and he broke out laughing again.

     The game had stopped and the players were looking at Amal. Amal was everyone’s favourite in the college for his quick wit and joyful nature. Everyone wanted to know what was happening. One guy called out, “Hey Amal, what is it?” 

     Amal replied to this, “Looks like we forgot to realize we have a Shakespeare here…. A cajoling and local Shakespeare though”

     Hearing this, Anoop ducked his head to Amal’s ears with his hands clamped tight onto Amal’s. Amal had tightly gripped the mobile using both his hands. It was impossible for Anoop to take it back by force. Once Anoop realized that fact, he whispered to Amal, “Pleaaaaaaase… Come! Let’s go to that room and talk”

     And after repeated efforts, which were but full of pleas, Anoop somehow persuaded Amal to go to another room with him. He wanted to somehow talk sense to Amal. These attempts only brought out an even better guffaw from Amal. Suhail quickly rose up and tried to join them in the private chat, but the door was slammed right across his face as Anoop was very careful about not to leak the information more. Inside the room, Anoop made Amal sit in the bed. Amal asked Anoop, “Shaaans?”

      Anoop’s face was red with embarrassment. He didn’t speak anything.

     Amal continued, “I thought you were a tough guy. But Pretty Shaans? Sweet heart? What the fuck! Wait till I get this news to Suhail. You had made fun of him for his sentimental approach towards girls right”

     Anoop replied, “No… No… No… Please… I will do anything for you. This is not like that. This is…  This is.. Divine actually…” He gulped after saying the last word.

     Hearing this Amal laughed even more. He was not even able to sit properly and was reaching for the nearby chair for support. Holding his stomach with one hand, he said, “I can’t take this anymore. Divine? What? You two are planning to release a new Bible or something with your sex-chats?”

     Anoop replied, with uncontrollable anger, “You can’t understand it. It’s not a sex chat. It’s called care. You know only to jerk off”

     Amal said grinning at him, “Yeah correct. It’s not Bible. It’s an entirely new version of Kamasutra. Isn’t it?”

     This was enough for Anoop to pounce at Amal and start fighting. Amal was getting all the beatings. But he was laughing all along with that.

     For the next few days, Anoop was the official sponsor of all Alcoholic and Tobacco-related items that Amal wanted. Like ‘The Godfather’, Anoop made an offer to Amal that he could not refuse. But it went only for a few days until Amal had to depend completely on Anoop again to bunk the classes with full attendance.

     But the days were like hell for Anoop. Not just Anoop, but at times, for Shanila as well, though she had no idea why. Anoop didn’t tell about this incident to Shanila. But Shanila always felt a bit awkward when Amal used to look and smile at her in a typical way. And even one day, Amal after seeking some help from Shanila for some record writing stuff, thanked Shanila in a whole new manner to worsen the situation, “Thank you Shaaaaaaaaaaans”

    But all these never hindered the intimate relationship between Shanila and Anoop. The only complaint Anoop had, was that Shanila was not at all letting her emotions flow.

     Shanila never used to express any of her emotions. She would just reply, ‘Good night’ for a long

     ‘Good night

     Sweet dreams, Sleep tight my dear Shaans, Lots of love, I miss you, Can’t wait till tomorrow to see you again, etc.’ message from Anoop.

   This only made Anoop feel more embarrassed as he felt like he was acting like a servile wheedler to Shanila. But he couldn’t help it. The worst part used to come when Anoop was drunk. The next morning on checking his sent messages, his half-black parched lower-lip automatically stretches downward with wrinkled noses and pulled eyebrows. “AARGH”

     But he always wondered why Shanila never used to get frustrated or angry. He even wondered why she would not just walk out of the chat when he was out of his control. And that explained a lot to Anoop.

     Anoop was getting really attached to Shanila. He started to care for her. These caring sessions usually brought up a feeling of wretch to Amal. The awkwardness that Anoop used to feel in the morning, whenever he checked the ‘sent-item box’ in his mobile after a late night boozing session, dawned in Amal as well when he saw the clumsy and romantic expressions on Anoop’s face whenever he met Shanila.  “YUCK”. And for this, Amal used to take his revenge by teasing Anoop. “Did your pretty Shaans have lunch?”, “Did your pretty Shaans write her exams well?” and even “Did your pretty Shaans wear an underwear today?” Anoop used to pummel Amal like anything for this. But the most likely case was him keeping quiet. Amal’s knowledge on this subject posed a serious threat that loomed around Anoop’s prestige and freak-status among his college mates. And it was too big for him to risk.

     Anoop used to sit by Shanila’s side during the interval hours and talk to her on his adventures at his house and with his friends. But Shanila never had anything to share with him on her personal affairs. He only knew the name of her father, which was “Shajahan” and that too, only with the help of the daily attendance in the college.

     Though Shanila was not open to Anoop on her personal stuffs, her way of caring Anoop was by being very strict with him. She never was concerned about him bunking the classes for she knew he would get the attendance somehow by coaxing the teachers. But she was strict with him whenever the exam-times approached. She insisted that he studied. This part was affecting Amal as well. But Shanila became the reason for Anoop and Amal not getting debarred.

     Eight months to the relationship and the College Annual festival arrived. Shanila had never attended any of the previous college festivals. In fact, she was never allowed to before, by her parents. But that year she pleaded and somehow persuaded her parents to let her attend the three-day festival. She did that because, the fact that Anoop was the Arts club secretary really mattered to her this time. Anoop had pressurized Shanila to attend it as well. He used to tell Shanila that it was not just about her seeing his Managerial skills, but something else too. He also told her that he had given his name for some competition. She would very often ask him as to what he was planning to do. But Anoop used the tag, ‘SURPRISE’ to keep her quiet. Shanila even asked Amal as to what Anoop was going to perform. Amal only said one thing whenever such questions came to him, “It’s going to be a blast. That’s all you have to know Shaaaans”

     The stretched and mocking ‘Shaaaaans’ call by Amal made Shanila stop asking him more on the subject.

     The College Annual day was on. The timing was from evening 4 pm to 10 pm. College buses were there to drop the students back home thereafter.

     It was a three-day cultural fest. And on the first day, Shanila didn’t see Anoop perform anything at all. She even wondered whether it would be just a prank to somehow make her attend the fest. But on attending the festival she understood another thing; the reason why Anoop used to describe the college as a ‘Mini-Goa’ when the festival time was on, after the sun sets in. The college was full of part-time drunkards. What happened in the stage never really mattered to any of the male spectators – just the music was enough to turn them on.

     Shanila couldn’t even get a chance to meet Anoop for he was that busy with his schedules. But she never complained. 

      It was the second day and at 6 p m the solo-song competition started.

    The usual practice was that from each branch viz. Electrical, Mechanical, Automobile, Computer science etc., a group of best 4 performers were selected through a separate screening process that usually happened before the festival. The selected few were then to perform and compete in the big stage.

     After the first three performances, the Anchor came in to the stage and said, “Wow! That was one breath-taking performance from Vineeth. I really wish to speak more on Vineeth’s performance, but at present I can’t wait till we move on to the next one. Sorry Vineeth, No offence. You will know why, once I finish announcing the name of the next participant. Yes! We have a surprise participant here guys. Even I was kept in the dark about this guy going to perform. And it surely raises my apprehensions. No doubt.  I can’t wait till I finish announcing” Someone from the front row of the crowd shouted at this, “Then announce and get the hell out of here” The Anchor was stunned with this response. “Ok, Ok… Calm down.. I am also very eager to see this guy perform. So, I am not dragging this anymore. Next we have on stage, our one and only………. Guess who… Our Arts club secretary, Anoop Rudrat… from 4^th Year ‘Electrical and Electronics’ batch. Guys…. give him a big hand. He is the heart and soul of this festival”

      Anoop slowly walked in and once he entered the stage, people started howling and calling his name. He was very famous in the college. All expected a fun scene. Some teachers were frowning as they were angry, thinking how he ended up in the Main stage after clearing the screening process. After all, Anoop was the Arts club secretary and nothing was impossible for him.

     He came to the stage and waited a bit for the people to stop howling. Then he said through the mike, “C’mon guys. Shut up”

      The students stopped for a second and started howling again.

     Anoop said, “Oh God, now I know what hell looks like” The college Principal seated in the front row was fuming with anger. He asked the college Director sitting to his left, “Who gave this guy a chance? He is gonna screw my sleep tonight. I will rip him apart if he makes a joke of us up from there”

     The howling and whistling was still on.

     Anoop continued, “I l give you an even better chance to howl. Now give me a break” and he laughed in front of the mike.

     The students erupted again. Anoop was still laughing. This was when the lights were turned off and the laser lights started working. The karaoke of “Tum hi ho” Hindi song from the movie ‘Aashiqui 2’ started to play. The crowd fell into silence. They never expected the Karaoke of such a song for Anoop to start singing.

      Amal said to Suhail standing to his left, “Romeo cut loose…Here we go...”

     The crowd waited. And then his sound erupted through the speakers. The grandeur of his voice was impeccable. The mellifluous tune of a grand singer put the entire crowd into pin drop silence. None was moving. It felt to all like some professional singer was singing the song up from the stage. The bodies of the students started to move in tandem with his voice. In few seconds the whole crowd was clapping in tandem to the beats of the song and they were moving like a wave. Only one person didn’t move. It was Shanila. Her eyes were moist with tears. She felt like the song was meant for her. Suddenly out of nowhere she felt proud that ‘he was hers’. She forgot everything.

    Anoop was breaking into all the pitches and heights. He was smiling and playing with the emotions of the crowd. The song’s last stanza, he took to the highest range and ended up with a different tone proving to all the spectators, his might to go the utmost standards of a singer. His eyes were closed when he was singing the last stanza. Some girls even had their eyes wet with tears. Amal was shell-shocked seeing this. He told Suhail with his eyes fixed on the girls who were enjoying his song, “I always knew this fucker knows how to sing. But I never imagined he will get a chance to play with some ____ with this exotic song”

      Suhail shouted, “Exotic? Oh shut up. You can’t possibly understand this feeling”

     Amal looked at Suhail with his eyebrows arched and said, “Oh sorry! I forgot I was talking to another Romeo here”

     This was when Anoop opened his eyes. His eyes were moist with tears. But he was not crying. A slight smile was there, hidden in his lips. Shanila was standing up from her seat without her knowledge. So were a lot of other girls in the crowd too. Before the crowd started to clap and whistle, Anoop shot a quick glance at Shanila and said, “Thank you” and got out from the stage asap.

    The Principal was sitting like hit by some High Voltage Electric Current. He said under his breath, “Damn”

    The crowd was roaring. The Anchor was back on the stage and Anoop came out through the back stage. Shanila in haste got up from her seat and wriggled her way out from the nasty crowd. She wanted to meet him ASAP. Once she reached there, she saw that Anoop was surrounded by his friends. But she saw him moving them aside and trying to come to her. She thought in her mind, ‘You are mine.. Just mine’ Shanila kept on repeating this in her mind. She was about to go and hug him any moment. She was waiting until he got close to her. She didn’t care about anything else in the world at that particular moment.

     Anoop had his eyes riveted into Shanila’s. He shouted out aloud, “Oye… That was meant for you” And Anoop was moving towards Shanila in a small jog.

     Suddenly Fathima came from Shanila’s behind and took her hand by force and asked her in a fervent manner, ‘What are you doing?’

     Shanila looked at Fathima blankly – She was in an entirely different world. Fathima pressed, forcing Shanila to concentrate, “What are you doing Shanila? I thought you promised me that you would….” Shanila looked at Fathima for quite a while blankly. She then nodded her head like she was relinquishing something. Her eyes were red. Accepting the reality, she came back to her senses.

     Shanila shook her head, turned back and started walking back to her seat.

     Anoop started to run behind her. He was calling, ‘Hey…Shanila…. Shaans……… Hey……..”

     Shanila didn’t pay heed to any of these.

     Anoop called again, “Shaaans…. Oye……… I love you…”

     Shanila stopped. But she didn’t turn back.

    Anoop said again, “I love you Shaans”, He was gasping heavily. He had stopped as well and said, “I can’t run behind you anymore. Just stop”

    Shanila was crying. She couldn't control herself. She turned around and looked at him. In her mind she could see herself hugging Anoop tight and yelling, ‘I love you too’

    But she stood there in the same place and never moved an inch.

    Anoop said, “Hey….I am sorry that I shouted out this loud. Guess I have to accept that I am a sugary guy after all when it comes to you. I just couldn’t realize it”

     In her mind, Shanila took her head from his bosom and looked at him with tear-filled eyes.

    Anoop enquired caringly, “Hey. You are not crying. Are you?” Anoop was slowly walking and was very close to Shanila now. “I am sure you feel the same way for me. Now that it’s open, why do you cry? And trust me, I l not make a scene here, ending up with us being expelled”

      Fathima suddenly came in again into the scene and dragged her from him.

      Anoop was called in by his college mates from behind to make arrangements for the next show. He had lots of work to do. He looked at Shanila and said, “I l catch you later. Just wait. I have to hear you say it”

     So he left. While he was leaving, he turned back a few times to see Shanila’s face. Though he was a bit uncomfortable when Fathima dragged her away, he was happy. She was all his’ now. Shanila on the other hand didn’t see any more shows. She went and sat inside the college bus with Fathima till the shows ended.

     The shows for the day were over and it was time for the college buses to depart. Anoop rushed to the ‘Bus No.9’; the bus in which Shanila used to travel; to see her once again and hear the thing before she leaves for the day.

     Once he reached there, he saw her sitting by the side seat. He called from outside the bus, “Hey Shanila. Oye… Look at me”

       Shanila was not looking at him.

       He called her again, “Oye, Shaaans. Look at me yaar.. For God’s sake”

      She didn’t look at him then too. Anoop saw in Shanila’s eyes a new look, bold and firm. It felt to him like he was ramming into some impenetrable barrier. The bus started to move. Anoop yelled, “I think you are shocked. Go home and relax. But don’t be in a hurry to sleep. Do text me. I have a lot of things to tell you... And It was not a joke….I think you know what I meant.. Haha… I can’t ruin my reputation you know… So Bye… Message me”

      The bus left.

     That night Shanila was in her room, desolate and dull. Anoop on the other side was partying with his friends in his PG room nearby the college. He was the star of the day; both for his song and his active works. But his mind was full of Shanila. His plan had worked perfectly. He just wanted it to end it in the same way as well. ‘If only she could just say it…’

     Anoop wanted to call her. He was completely boozed. But he didn’t make the call as he knew that she had a strict environment at her house and that she slept with her Mom.

      Shanila received a message in Whatsapp.

     “Hey Shaaans. Why don’t you speak anything to me?”

      Shanila didn’t type anything.

     “Hey, I know that I burst out. But when I sang the song today, I just couldn’t resist. You were in my mind when I was singing. I know am a bit of being too much romantic here. Sorry. But…. I really love you”

      There was no reply from Shanila yet again.

    “Hey…. Why are you so silent? Was I wrong? Or is it like….Uh… I misjudged the whole thing?”

      Shanila wanted to type, “No….. You are right in your judgment. I love you and I need you more than you can imagine. I am so addicted to you”

      But she didn’t type that.

    Anoop was seeing that Shanila was online. He was very sad and felt that he was drowning. Suddenly all of his happiness was turning into fear – fear of losing her once and forever.

     He typed, “Ok. Shanila. Take care…. Uh…. I miss you. I really don’t know what to type or what to say now. I wanted to kiss you today. Pardon me if I am going above my limits. But… I am just being true to my heart here.. I wanted to….. But…. Again I know I am losing control here…….Sorry..  I was so sure when I yelled it out loud, and believe me that I saw it your eyes too. But now I am not sure if you love me... I beg you only one thing as of now. Please don’t leave me and go. I am addicted to you”

     Shanila was breaking into tears. The words were echoing in her head, ‘I am addicted to you’. It was the same thing she thought a few moments before. She wanted to kiss him as well. She wanted to hug him as well. He was her first love. She had never known what love and care was till then. And she also knew that he understood her so well. 

    Anoop was going nuts. He couldn’t control himself and he ended up calling Shanila twice or thrice to her phone. The next time he dialed her number, he heard the Telephone operator say ‘Switched off’

      Shanila cried till dawn. She didn’t attend the 3^rd day of the festival.

    On the third and last day of the festival, Anoop, despite his hangover of the previous night, reached college in the afternoon itself, before the buses arrived. He went and searched ‘Bus No. 9’ once the buses arrived at the college. But Shanila was not there in it.

     Some Stubble would have given him the exact look of a ‘Devdas’.

     He went and asked Fathima, who was seen getting down from the bus.

     “Fathima. Hey, where is Shanila?”

      Fathima didn’t say anything and started walking.

     Anoop was getting more and more angry with Fathima. He shouted, “Oye. Stop. What’s wrong with you? Yesterday you were seen dragging her from me and today you are not talking to me. What’s happening? What’s your problem? Huh”

      Fathima stopped, turned back and said in a bold tone, “Can I speak to you in private for a moment.

      Anoop said, “Yes Please”

     She took him to one corner of the pathway which led to the college ground where the programs were held and asked, “What do you know about Shanila?”

     Anoop said in a hoarse tone raising his eye brows, “What do you have to do with my knowledge on Shanila?”

     Fathima heaved a deep breath and said, “Listen, Am Sorry. Okay? I didn’t want to hurt or insult you. But let me ask you a few questions here”

     Anoop nodded and said, “Carry on” He was grinding his teeth in anger.

      “Do you know her father’s name?”

      Anoop said with a shrug, “No”

      “Her Mother’s?”

       He laughed and said, “No”

      “Her brother’s?”

      He said, “What is this? No… Is she from ‘The Mughals’ or something?”

     “Her husband’s?”

     Dead end! Anoop’s smile stopped. He was frozen. He didn’t answer this question and was breathing real hard. His eyes were turning red, narrowed with anger and moist with tears.

    Fathima said, “I am sorry Anoop. You have to know. We have some limits. Some of us enjoy like usual girls do. But some are cursed as they are forced to marry at a very small age. And she became prey to one such act. She was just 16 when she got married. Her husband was not young like you. They have an age difference of 14 years. She didn’t get a chance to know what love was, or what college life was, when she got married. I think her husband in Dubai hasn’t even attended proper college. She is servile to him. They don’t share love. They share a commitment. She lost her freedom before the time came for her to enjoy. Then she met you.  She was always afraid of you for she liked you from day one. Then the liking turned into love. She never wanted you or anyone else to know about her past. She thought she could hide it forever. She wanted to feel your love till the end and leave.  But… I… I know what she did was not right. But she never expected that you would break loose like that yesterday. Your love was too strong for her to handle and she was too weak to suppress her love for you. I say all these to you because I know…… And I believe…. I believe that you won’t tell this to anyone. But… You have to forget her Anoop. She was never yours to dream of”

     Anoop was sweating. He had his eyes wet. He said in a trembling voice, “But she didn’t get a chance. She… She was too small… even now also…. She is…. This is unfair… She was my first love… I… I…” He was stammering and was on a loss for words to speak.

    Fathima said, “Your ideologies don’t work everywhere Anoop. Some hard-knit conventional systems of living are hard to change. We have to follow our codes. We can’t just live as vagabonds without any support from our parents. The dependency, it’s too much for us to break free unlike you boys. Let us not talk about this anymore. I am leaving. And I am really sorry Anoop for your loss. But I guess that’s all I have to say. Bye”, saying this she left.

     Anoop sat in the ground for a while after she left, with his eyes red and wet fixed on to the ground. Amal and Suhail came in and asked him what had happened. He didn’t tell them anything.

     Days passed. Anoop waited for Shanila to return. But she was never seen in the college. His agony turned into anger and desperation and he felt like he wanted to get some justice. But she never showed up. More than the anger in him, his love for her got the better of him. He was struggling to find his lost rhythm.

               Two months passed…

      It seemed to Anoop like Shanila never existed. Her Facebook account was deactivated. Her Whatsapp status showed, ‘Left Whatsapp’. His e-mails went unanswered. Fathima never answered any of his questions as well.  At times he would try to talk normal to Fathima and get the information he was seeking from her. At times, he used to lose his control and end up shouting at her. He even went in Shanila’s college bus once to track her house. But when he went to her house, his answers to the questions, “Who are you and how do you know her?” was enough for the household members of Shanila’s family to kick him out.

      The desperation was too much for Anoop to handle and one day he went and asked Fathima in a very gray and pleading tone, “Where is Shanila? Is she never going to come back? I beg you to give me an answer. You know that I deserve to know”

     Fathima kept quiet. But she did answer this time, “She discontinued and left for Dubai last month. She told her husband that she doesn’t want to study anymore”

     Anoop was frozen. His face broke into complete sadness and he asked, “It was because of me right?” His sound was not coming up - It was broken.

     Fathima didn’t say anything. But after a small gap, she said, “It’s not your mistake. It’s not her mistake as well. It’s the mistake of the society”

     Anoop was struggling to say something. He then somehow said, “But why and how….?”

     Fathima looked at a broken Anoop and said, “The night you called her after the fest, her mom caught her. She was crying. Already, she was struggling and just a push from her mother was enough for her and she opened up everything to her. She confessed. It was her Mother’s decision that she discontinue and go to her husband in Dubai. She even talked to me. She believed that, it was the only way for Shanila to break free the unwanted thoughts. You should know that her family never cared if she had a degree certificate or not. It was because she pleaded a lot that they had let her study”

     Anoop stood helpless. His face was pale white. He said, “Unwanted thoughts? Huh. That sums up” And he started walking back.

     Fathima called him from behind and said one thing more, “She left something for you. I thought I won’t give it to you. It would just kill you more.. But… You deserve it… And I… I don’t have the right to keep it from you”

     And she passed him, taking from her purse, one small scrap paper rolled beautifully. He opened it up. It contained his hand writing. ‘Three phase induction motors’, it read, with some drawings and formulas. Tears sprung from his eyes. He flipped the paper. Behind it something was written in beautiful hand writing. He recognized that it was Shanila’s with one single look at it.

    “Anoop….. Thanks for letting me know what love is. Thanks for letting me know what I missed. You are my first love.

     I am sorry. I am sorry to have lit in you false hopes. It was my mistake. But… I was helpless… and as you said, I was addicted to you as well… And so addicted that I was not able to stay away from you even for one single moment. I hurt you. I know. But I just didn’t have a way out… For an answer to what you told that night, I have to say, “I love you too… And I have loved you from day one”. You were right about it. But I don’t have the freedom to own you my Anoop. Had I had a chance I would have stood by you, without your knowledge, just to see your smile. That would have been enough for me. I would have given you all that I have. My soul, my body, my heart… It all belongs to you… But they are just dreams now… dreams which can never be fulfilled. When you gave me love, I know that I have just given you pain and more pain in return.

     And, you sang very well that day. I wish that you had told me before that you sing so well. I want to hear more. But all I can hear now is your memories chanting in my head. Please… hate me for what I have done to you. I hid from you the things that I should have told you in the starting itself. I planted in you the seed of love. Hate me! Please hate me for what I did! But do know that I was not trying to cheat you. I was cheating myself. In a life filled with darkness and sorrow, you came in and spread your love. Though, I would shed my tears for a long time from here on, the light you filled in my heard will forever glow. Do know that, I love you and I will do that till I stop breathing. May Allah bless you! Good bye Anoop”

      Anoop didn't say anything more. He felt his spirit leaving from him. He felt his reason to live shattered  and lost. But he had to live. He had to move ahead. But he knew not how. He had no place to hide.

      AFTER 25 YEARS:

    An excerpt from a Biography, ‘Seasons of life’ written by renowned singer and playwright, Anoop Rudrat:

     “And she left without even a word. I was broken indeed for she was my first love. It was hard for me to carry on with my usual life after she left. There had been days when I used to wonder why my first love was such a big flop. I had cried a lot. I had no idea how to live without her. But then, the pain turned into anger and I had started to curse her a few weeks later, after I received that paper from Fathima. And it worked! It kept me going till the end of the college days.

     But now when I look back at what happened, I realize that women are cursed by God in this world. They give us birth and we put them to shackles with our own hands. Why? Our world has evolved a lot from the old, obsolete and orthodox times we have had in the past. But still there are lots of women who are losing their right to live free for no mistake of theirs. Shanila could have been my wife. Or maybe someone else’s. But the point is that she could have made her own decision. Women’s ability to produce off-springs and their vulnerability to strength and dependency is being taken advantage of now in this generation also. If men can be audacious and free so can be women. What’s the difference? Still I hear that there are girls studying in different colleges with their wings clipped. They suppress their emotions. Even if they meet someone they like, they just can’t afford to love them because they are already married. It’s like putting a belt onto a dog’s collar and claiming that ‘IT’S MINE’ They are not dogs. They are the reason why we live. They are sacred. No ‘Test Tube’ science can save us without them.

    Ten years back I had gone to Dubai to attend one Festival hosted by famous TV channel ‘SONY’. I was invited and I had taken my wife and my twin sons along with me. They wanted to enjoy their holidays and it was like ‘May day’ for me.

     Don’t mistake me for they are my life. I love my family very much. They are the reason why I am so successful today.

    While we were out for shopping in Dubai, I had the privilege to introduce my wife to one special lady - an awkward situation to be frank.

      I met Shanila. I was shocked to see her. She had grown all plump and mature. Her sweet eyes, that curvaceous figure – I could see none from that old Shanila I used to love. We talked. I was very casual in my talks and was in fact was very happy to meet her. I was just a bit shaken on seeing her transformation into a middle-aged Mummy. But on the other hand, her reactions were a bit complex. She stood still for a few seconds and then started to stammer, once she started to talk. She was like partly laughing and partly not whenever I shot at her some cheerful jokes. And this did put me in a humiliating and vulnerable situation once or twice. The paradox actually got the better of me when I saw her kids playing with mine – the lady whom I wanted to have kids with, playing with my kids. And hell yeah! She had half a dozen of that to entertain my twin pair. We talked for a few minutes and I had to leave posthaste because of a family commitment. I had to buy my sons some brand new Gaming Discs. 

     I bid her farewell and left. It didn’t trouble or hurt me even a little bit as I said. I was happy after all to have been blessed with the love and comfort of an otherwise cranky wife. But when I left I had something in my heart for her. I sympathized for her. In her hollow eyes surrounded by dark-shades, I saw a yearning for something she lost on her way. She was crying inside. I felt it. I wanted to comfort her by patting her on her shoulders, but my wife… I couldn’t risk having a screwed up end to my fabulous day in the bed at night with her. But it was at that moment that I realized that the mistake was not hers’. Like Fathima, her old friend, told me once, “It was the mistake of the society. And yes, It was her fall and not mine– that too an irrecoverable one”

THE END