YOU CALL IT PAIN

“I wrote this story out of my personal experience. I had my lesson to learn from it. But I do not know if you will find any. It depends on the way you perceive it. But for me, it was worth writing."

`Hemanth Sreekumar` 

Pain turning into anger, and anxiety surrendering to fear – you could see all these transitions on Reshma’s face. A gentle breeze partially cleared the tiny drops of sweat off her nose and forehead. But more tiny drops came to life on a small break from Mother Nature.

Reshma was in pain and the nurse pushed the wheelchair faster, carefully though, towards the ‘Casualty ward’ at the rear of the hospital. Reshma’s brother Vinay and her husband Rahul were by her side, but they were helpless. They could only watch her go through the pain, all alone.

You could hear Reshma’s husband Rahul whispering to her, “Hold on for a few more minutes. The doc will be here and everything will be alright”. For a response, she shouted at him at the top of her voice for his lame attempts at comforting her. But he kept on doing the same thing. Perhaps he knew the value of love, which calls for us to show unconditional care and affection, no matter what we get in return. Understanding her pain, and letting her know that she was not alone – that was all he was doing.

Reshma’s parents were right behind the wheelchair and they were jumpy. You could tell the emotions running inside the old couple. They might become grandparents for the very first time in their lives, but during that point of time, the pain that their daughter endured, eclipsed all the hopes and happiness in them.

The unpaved gravel road towards the casualty ward was not in good shape, and every time the wheelchair struggled to remain parallel to the road, Reshma cried, which brought a sense of dread into the silence that filled the dark night.

The casualty ward was a newly built building and not so many patients were inside. But those who were inside the room, were totally freaked out. Maybe this was the first time that they saw a pregnant woman, whose anger surpassed her cries of pain.

Reshma’s shrill cries and shouts echoed inside the newly built room as the patients gaped at her. One look at their faces, and you would feel that they were humbled – in a comparative sense, they were healthy chaps.

Nobody could go near Reshma. The nurses hesitated to say anything to her. They just did their duty at attending to her medical needs. In a nutshell, everyone inside the Casualty ward was afraid of Reshma and a fearsome silence filled the room.  

It was then that a patient’s phone rang. It was a romantic song from the eighties. The ringtone was very loud, thanks to the Chinese manufacturers. Vinay and Rahul looked at the owner of the cell phone, as if all hell would break loose on him any moment. The man was stunned and for a moment, he stood still, staring at the duo, as if he was stoned. He just didn’t know what to do.

Vinay looked at him from Reshma and back. For a few seconds, Reshma was silent and then she slowly lifted her face to look at Vinay. For some unknown reason, Vinay wanted to laugh and he did so without his own consent. It looked to Rahul that Reshma might jump out of her wheelchair and slap the phone owner and Vinay right on their cheeks. But quite surprisingly, the reverse happened as a sad and helpless smile slowly spread on her face. The expression conveyed a clear message: ‘Who the fuck is that dude and what the hell?’

Vinay burst out laughing and looked at the unknown man who made his sister finally smile amid the emotional roller-coaster ride she was going through.

The next cry from Reshma brought all the comfort in the room crashing down. The nurse pushed the wheelchair ahead towards the lift in haste.

Reshma was taken to the ‘Labour Room’. Her family could hear her scream with anger and pain inside. Rahul, who was not able to withstand his wife’s cries, settled on the staircase, where the painful noise had only a very bleak reach. Reshma’s parents sat on the bench outside the Labour room and waited. Vinay walked up and down the corridor, having no idea how to kill time and alleviate the fear that was haunting his mind.

There were three or four pregnant women at least inside the room and only Reshma’s voice filled the whole of third floor. From a few of the smaller rooms on the third floor, where the patients were admitted, some people came out to check on what was happening. This increased the anxiety and tension for the whole family. There were many questions and suggestions. But there was nothing in it that comforted them.  It only worsened their fear.

‘Crying so loud will drain all the energy in her’

‘It will become problematic if she doesn’t co-operate’

‘Are there complications?’

‘Don’t worry! God will help you’

‘When I can’t take this, how do you guys take it in? God be with you’

‘How long has it been? Was she crying and howling like this when you started from your house?’

‘Cesarean would be nice option if you wish to... I mean...’

Their only increased the jitters for the family. On top of that, when it was raining suggestions, a nurse came out of the Labour room and delivered a telling blow to their confidence. She came out and said, “Is Reshma’s mother here?”

Her mother responded, “Yes”

“Please come inside, we need your help. She is not co-operating at all.”

You could see Reshma’s mother trying to swallow the huge lump of saliva stuck on her throat. She went in and from then on, none of the family members was able to settle on a fixed place.

Vinay had to disperse the sympathisers finally. To some he spoke politely, while at some others he snapped ruthlessly.

The cries that echoed the room became louder again. Close to one hour passed and still there was no sign of Reshma’s doctor. Then the same nurse came out with another bad news.

“Parvati Madam [The doctor who treated Reshma] is out of town. Doctor Vishwanathan will have to attend the case.”

This was a huge blow to Reshma’s family. Tears welled inside Rahul’s eyes as he leaned on the wall for support. Reshma’s father was breathing heavily and he was fighting hard to control his emotions. 

Vinay on the other hand could feel his chest burning. He paced up and down the narrow corridor.

The family had no idea who this Dr. Vishwanathan was. Dr. Parvati was well aware of Reshma’s case and her absence in the very last moment made the whole family wrought up. All they could do was to wait outside the Labour room, listening to the screeching sound inside labour room that spiraled up in volume every single minute.  

After some fifteen minutes, a skinny man, with a pale look, came out of the lift, and walked laboriously through the corridor. He had very little hair and the strands of hair left on his baldhead had already turned grey. He was so thin that one would wonder how long it has been since he last had some food.

Only when the tired looking man knocked at the Labour room door, did the family realise that the man was the doctor who was going to attend Reshma’s case.

Reshma’s father wanted to talk to doctor, but before he could approach him, the doctor had entered room and closed it behind him.

It started raining outside and time trickled like the zillion drops of water that emanated from the dark clouds. Only for the family, time moved in slow motion. For them, it filled the floor and transformed into quick sand, which started to pull all three of them into a world of fear. In that world, no one knew what lay ahead. There, answers came only when you experience it for real. You may drown or suddenly be able to swim your way up. It was like - caught off guard, into the unknown, with just prayers to chant.

It was then that Reshma’s mother came outside. Looking tensed, she sat on the bench outside the Labour room and sighed heavily.    

Rahul rushed to her and asked her on Reshma’s situation. She replied, “She is not co-operating. They are going to use the vacuum pump. She is very tired but she is fighting back. I have no idea how this....”

The little courage that was left in Rahul, crashed into the oblivion, like a pack of cards.

‘I beg you Reshma, please, please, please co-operate….’ Rahul chanted in his mind.

The whole family could hear Reshma screaming from inside, and they knew that if Reshma continues to fight back, then she might end up fainting, which could lead to a whole lot of troubles.

What happened next was what the family feared the most. All the cries and screaming sounds from inside the Labour died. A sudden silence stifled all four of them. They would have thought that the screaming sounds were better then. All of them just stood motionless, breathing heavily, not ready to look at each other.

Every second that passed, presented the family with a new bunch of horrible thoughts. Reshma’s mother closed her eyes and started praying.

The door opened and all four of them shuddered at the creaking sound of it.

“IS SHE OKAY?” Rahul asked the nurse who was standing outside.

The split second that the nurse took to answer Rahul’s question, seemed like a lifetime for Rahul and the other three.

“She is fine and congrats. It is a baby boy!”

Like a strong comeback from the light, which was blocked by the dark clouds for a long time, happiness filled their hearts. Tears of happiness flooded across everyone’s face. They hugged and kissed each other.

Shocking all four of them, in a few minutes, the door opened again and it was Reshma. She stood there, with a plump and rotund figure wrapped inside a white towel in her hands.

Rahul ran and kissed Reshma on her cheeks and forehead. He looked down at his child, with eyes filled with tears, but a face all proud and smiling. The baby was beautiful - small eyes, fleshy cheeks and all red. Soon after that, she went inside again, at the nurse’s request, so that the baby will not get suddenly exposed to the outside climate.

Before she closed the door, Dr. Vishwanathan came outside and smiled at Reshma. She nodded her head and gave an all-too-knowingly smile in return.

Rahul quickly asked, before she closed the door again. “Hey wait. What just happened? I thought things were getting more complicated…” he stammered, “And then… suddenly… I just can’t believe it...”

Looking at the lean man who was trudging his way towards the lift, Reshma replied.

“I was in so much of pain that I was totally out of control. I attacked that man and he gently asked me to co-operate. I shouted at him saying he had no idea what I was going through. Then he came close to my ears and whispered, ‘Lung cancer, terminal stage. Any more questions?’ I just had... I just had nothing to tell him. But it just gave me all the strength in the world that I want.”

Before the bell rang, which signalled the closure of the lift door, all five of them heard the man coughing from inside...

Or did they just imagine that he coughed?

THE END